More Trash TV Talk

I apologize in advance for another Bachelorette post, but this week's episode was just too much. I don't even know where to start.

Actually, I'll start with last week. Hunter actually got a one-on-one date, and boy was it awkward. I was uncomfortable just watching it. I had to partially obstruct my view with my hands like I do when I'm watching a scary movie. Yeah, that bad. He was being really sweet, but it was just so obviously not a match made in reality tv heaven. It was no surprise that he didn't get a rose. Better luck next time, Hunter.

Okay, now on to the crazies who are left. Kasey. Oh, crazy Kasey. First of all, he has the strangest voice, and he's really hard to understand. It's like listening to Charlie Brown's teacher. Half the time, I can't even make out what he is saying, so I was glad to have the subtitles during his helicopter ride. More importantly, I have to question his sanity after this week's episode. His sole mission in life is to "guard and protect Ali's heart," and he mentioned that no less than 100 times. Seriously. So, after not getting a rose on his one-on-one date because Ali thought he was trying too hard and not being sincere, what does he do? He goes out and gets a tattoo on his wrist. Yeah, that'll show her how genuine you are. Any guesses what he got? You got it, a shield guarding and protecting a heart. Oh, and the shield has 11 diamond studs on it, symbolic of the 11 "studs" left. Quite possibly the stupidest tatoo anyone has ever gotten, and definitely the creepiest. The kid clearly has some issues. But the show needs ratings, so of course he'll be back next week.

Then there's Weatherman. Poor, poor Weatherman. He just constantly beats himself up for not allowing Ali to see his "true" self. Well, no worries Weatherman. We got a pretty good look at the real you through all of your interview clips, and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have made a difference.  

What do these two crazies have in common? They both serenaded Ali this week with equally bad songs. And when I say bad, I mean bad. I was embarrassed for them.

So, of the guys left, my top three are Roberto, Chris L., and Kirk, in that order. If I were Ali, I would just send the rest packing.

Frank seems a little too possessive and has serious stalker potential, the wrestler is just there for the ride, and the notsoattractive lawyer is just boring.

And who is this guy they keep showing who never even speaks? I've never even seen him talk to Ali, so I don't know how he has made it this far. He's like a creeper who just keeps showing up in random shots.

Okay, I can now move on with my life now that those thoughts are out of my head.

Little Bit of This, Little Bit of That

My mind can't focus on a single topic today, so you get a hodge podge of thoughts...

First of all, my bootcamp trainer must have gotten wind of my smack talk because he has definitely kicked it up a notch. He killed my legs the first week, and my shoulder blades and upper back are feeling it this week. I think the classes I took at the Y were actually harder, but this guy definitely knows what he's doing because I've been in a constant state of soreness since I started. Ouch!

On a completely different note, I have a new obsession. Have you tried Subway's new Orchard Chicken Salad sandwich? So good! And it's somewhat healthy as far as chicken salads go. I get it on wheat bread with lettuce and tomatoes. Nom nom nom. I warned you, random!

I decided to give Izzy a chore yesterday that she thoroughly enjoyed. She was my laundry assistant, and she pushed the hamper to and from the laundry room. When she's 13, I will remind her of how much she once enjoyed laundry. I love my sweet little helper girl.

Speaking of Izzy, I think she might have her first celebrity crush. Everytime the commercial for Huggies Denim Diapers (really, Huggies??) comes on, she immediately stops what she is doing and focuses all of her attention on the handsome little denim-clad star. He is pretty cute, but I think she should hold out for a boy who wears pants in public, and preferably, non-denim underwear.

Oh, and I almost forgot. She started sticking out her tongue the other day. Funniest thing ever.

Seeing how #21 on this dreadful list is to successfully grow a vegetable, I decided I better get going. So, on a recent trip to Home Depot, I bought this. It has been sitting on my kitchen counter, unopened, since I brought it home. Baby steps, people. Baby steps.

And, I leave you with a sad discovery. I have come to find that my love of shopping does not, I repeat, DOES NOT extend to swim attire. What a way to ruin an otherwise perfectly fine day. It goes without saying that the fluorescent lighting in the dressing rooms does not do us any favors, and I can now say that stuffing your face at Souper Salad before trying on swimsuits doesn't help either. And have you seen the price of swimsuits these days? Sorry to use the phrase "these days" like I'm 80, but I didn't realize I needed to take out a loan to pay for a new swimsuit. Geesh! I couldn't find anything that was reasonably priced AND age appropriate. By age appropriate, I mean nothing that my former students nor my grandma would wear. Sadly, I didn't find anything that met my requirements. I had to turn to ol' faithful, Victoria's Secret, and order two suits online. They haven't arrived yet, but I'm mentally preparing myself for the fact that I will look nothing like the models sporting the suits in the pictures. Too bad there isn't an "add to cart" option for their figures. Bleh!

Bootcamp Report

One day down. Bootcamp wasn't scary at all. I even wish it had been a little harder. Our instructor is a former military trainer, and even though he is much nicer than the leaders in the photo above, I'm sure I will live to regret that wish. Roll call, an introduction, and a general overview of the program took up some time at the beginning of class, but he promised there would be no time for relaxing here on out. Yesterday's workout consisted mainly of weights. We did several different moves, all in cadence to 25. Ex: 1, 2, 3, ONE, 1, 2, 3, TWO, etc. Needless to say, we were happy to hear 25 at the end of each set. My only complaint is that we didn't do much cadio, but I'm sure he will mix it up. To be honest, I didn't leave feeling like I got a great workout, but my arms are a little sore this morning, so I guess that is a sign that something worked. Maybe tomorrow I will get the "last chance workout," Biggest Loser style, that I'm looking for.

Bring the Pain!

I'm sure this will be another one of those ideas that sound better in my head, but I've signed up for 4 weeks of torture bootcamp. I did a 6-week bootcamp class through the YMCA a few years ago, and it was pretty good, but I thought I would try something a little different. I'd been looking at alternatives for a while, but everything is so pricey. That's where my good friend Groupon came through for me. The week after I researched the program I ended up signing up for and found that they charge $180 for 4 weeks, I got an email from Groupon offering the exact same session for $40! So, I signed myself up, and I got a friend to join me. I'm not going to pretend to be super athletic or anything, but when I workout, I want to be pushed, I want to sweat, and I don't want to feel like I've wasted my time. The description on the website reads, "for men and women who want a true bootcamp experience without the commitment of enlisting." Sounds a bit scary, but in a good way. I think.

Why the bootcamp you ask? Well, three of us couples have an upcoming trip to Cabo planned, and to inspire some friendly, get-in-shape motivation, we have a little Cabo Wabo Fatso Challenge going on. The sad few who lose the least percentage of weight will be forced to sing karaoke on the trip. I don't sing karaoke. I don't sing at all. In fact, last time I was on a karaoke stage, this is what happened.

This cannot happen again, people! So, you now see the seriousness of the situation and why drastic measures are needed. My first class is tonight. I'm not going to lie. I'm scurred. I will report back tomorrow, assuming I am still alive.

Looky, Looky!

One of Izzy's favorite things to do is walk, but she still needs help from mommy and daddy. I've been testing her a bit lately by only allowing her to hold on to me with one hand. She wasn't so sure about that at first, but she is getting braver.

Today, I tricked her. I walked her with both hands, then I pulled one a way after a few steps, making her walk a bit with one hand free. Then, still standing behind her, I held a toy in front of her, and she grabbed it with her free hand. I pulled my other hand away, and she was holding the toy with both hands, and STANDING all by herself! We repeated this trick a lot today. She was surprisingly very stable, and would stand for close to 30 seconds at a time before she sat herself down.

Look at her! She's a professional stander. She's all nonchalant about it, "Yeah, I'm standing on my own for the first time ever. No big deal."

I'm so proud of my baby girl, and also a little nervous about the craziness that is about to unfold when she takes off. From the looks of the picture below, she was pretty proud of herself, too! Poor daddy was out of town for this first, but he will be home late tonight, and he will probably have to fight off the urge to wake her up and make her perform her new trick.

The Bachelorette

I’ll admit it. I watch The Bachelorette. I managed to avoid The Bachelor/Bachelorette for several seasons, maybe even since the Bob Guiney days, until this past season. Don’t worry. It was not my love for cheese ball Jake that reeled me in. I simply forgot how much I enjoy watching a good trainwreck, and in the world of trainwrecks, it just doesn’t get much better. It also helps that I have more freedom to access my DVR these days. You know, without work and other minor things to get in the way. I find myself following a lot of television shows that I haven’t had time for in the past. I think I just painted a picture of myself sitting on the couch all day eating bonbons, watching my “stories,” as my grandparents refer to their beloved soap operas, while Izzy is stuck in a playpen in the corner. Well, if it makes you feel better, I prefer cookies over bonbons, I get caught up on most of my “stories” after Izzy goes to bed, we have no playpen, and I think it goes without saying that nobody puts baby in the corner! All this to say that I am shamefully back on board with The Bachelor/Bachelorette.

Obviously, as with every reality show, there are people who participate just to get their 15 minutes of fame. The B/B-ette certainly has its share of these types, but it’s the ones who are completely sincere and are truly looking for their spouse on a reality television show I have to wonder about. Let’s take last year’s finale for instance. Jake had narrowed down the group to two women: Tenley, whom despite the fact that she just about beat me down with her baby talk every week, seemed like a really genuine person, and Vienna sausage. He went on and on about how this was the hardest decision of his life, he didn’t know who to choose, yadda yadda yadda. I know that everything is dramatized for ratings, but I’m not sure that I would be okay accepting a proposal from a man who a) up until 2 minutes ago, was dating another woman, and b) basically flipped a coin to decide which of us he wanted as his wife. Apparently it worked though, because he and the sausage seemed happy on Dancing with the Stars. Not that I watch that show or anything. Ahem.

So, on to this season. I’m honestly not a big fan of Ali’s. She was one of my favorites in the beginning last season, but somewhere along the line, she became an instigator and a bit of a cry baby. I have my suspicions about her dramatic exit from The Bachelor, and whether it was just a stunt to set her up to be the next Bachelorette. I mean, did you not make arrangements with your boss before you left to be on a national television show??? Seems like everyone else did, and I find it hard to believe she didn’t get the memo. Anyways, I wasn’t sure I was going to watch this season until I found out something that sealed the deal. One of Griff’s friend’s younger brother, Hunter, is a contestant this season. I’ve never even met Hunter, but it’s still fun to watch someone you “know of” on television. And he’s pretty entertaining so far.

Ali and Hunter

As for the rest of the guys, is it just me, or did Ali get some slim pickens? Even Griff (Yes, he is watching with me. He claims it's just because of Hunter, but I think he really likes the show. Shh…) pointed out that all the women on the Bachelor are smokin’ hot (His words. Hmmm…nobody he knew was on that show, and he still watched it. Things are starting to come together now.) and the guys on the Bachelorette are doucheriffic* (Also his word). I do have to agree, though. I saw maybe 4 or 5 guys worth keeping, and the rest I just didn’t get. I mean, the lawyer with the bad hair, the creepy outdoorsman, and the infamous Shooter??? Where do they find these people? And by the way Bachelorette, when someone’s job title is “entrepreneur,” that just means they’re unemployed. You aren’t fooling anyone. Looking forward to watching the chaos that will undoubtedly unfold this season!

Caught in the Act

Izzy is currently in a Yo Gabba Gabba trance, so I'm taking advantage. Hey, don't judge me. We've made it all day without cartoons, but it's almost 6pm, and Griff isn't home yet, so it's time for reinforcements. And seriously, what in the world is with this show? I really question the sanity of its creator.

I'm a little late at posting this. But really, what else is new? Here's a quick recap of all the fun stuff Miss Izzy has been up to over the past several weeks.

So, a few weeks ago, I go in to get Izzy from nap and notice that the side of her crib is all messed up. At first glance, I thought, "what the???" But one look at her face told the story.

The Damage: closer examination reveals a drool drip.

The Evidence: Notice the black paint chips around the culprit's mouth.
She turned on the tears quick so as to avoid punishment. Those babies are sneaky I tell you. ;-)

Yep, my baby is eating her bed. She also eats books. I'm raising my own little baby goat.

I used to keep her books in the living room on a shelf she could reach so she could play with them. After pulling a chunk of this book out of her mouth, I've removed the books from her reach, and she only gets them while mommy is reading to her or watching her very closely. As for the crib, we've tried this gummi crib rail thing, but it doesn't want to stick the the crib, so we're still looking for a solution. If you have any suggestions, we're listening.

One of her most favorite things to do, up until recently, was to open the doors to the tv cabinet and mess with everything behind them. It drove me crazy because I was constantly pulling her away from the cabinet and shutting the door, only for her to be back at it again seconds later. Well, the hubs got smart and removed the handles from the doors. Now she can't open them. Problem solved. It's the little victories...

Izzy was playing with a little ball that Nanna made for her, and it rolled under the table. She went in after it, but got stuck and needed some assistance getting out from under the chair. Silly girl!

This was the first piece of furniture that we had to remove from the living room. This was pre-fireplace screen injury. It was just too tempting for my girl, so we moved it into the dining room.

Another thing we have to keep out of her reach now: wipes.

The girl loves to climb!

And this is my favorite, from several weeks ago. I had put Izzy down for a nap, and she was just not having it. After about 15 minutes or so, it sounded like she had finally calmed down. I tip-toed into her room to check on her, and she was sitting straight up in bed, completely asleep! I ran to get the camera. I know, not smart, but I just had to. Well, the click of the camera startled her, and she woke up crying. I should have left well enough alone and let her sleep since the flash was off and the picture is blurry anyway, but I just had to get my picture. If I remember correctly, she never continued her nap that day. Poor girl was afraid she'd miss something. Talk about fighting your sleep. If only I knew where she gets her stubborness. ;-)