Monday, February 3, 2014

Remembering Lily

Hey there!  I hope you all had a fun weekend.  We had a pretty low key weekend, which is just how I like it.  On Saturday, we celebrated what would have been Lily's 5th birthday.  It is so hard to believe it has been 5 years since we held her in our arms.  Although we only got a few precious moments with her, she has without a doubt changed our lives.  On days where everything seems to be going wrong (I'm looking at you, Mondays), and it takes 45 min to get the girls dressed and out the door, and somebody is crying (Izzy), and somebody else is dragging 5 pairs of my shoes across the house (Harper), I try to just take a deep breath and remind myself how lucky and completely blessed I am to have these two perfect daughters.  Their behavior may not always be perfect, but they were indeed perfectly made.  And they were perfectly made for us.  What a gift.  I will never know what I did to deserve them.  Being their mommy is such a privilege.

Every year when February 1st rolls around, I always look at Izzy so intently, trying to figure out what Lily would look like.  I sometimes get a little sad (I'm sure I always will) because I know Izzy and Lily would have had so much fun growing up together.  I mean, can you even imagine Izzy times 2??  But I can't think like that for long.  I can't allow myself to ask "Why?" or "What if?"  It's just not healthy, and in all honesty, if Lily were here, Harper probably wouldn't be in our family.  I don't know if we would have eventually turned to adoption or not, but it most likely wouldn't have happened so soon, and life without our sassy little lady just wouldn't be the same.  I know that our story was written a long time ago, and I am so grateful for a loving God who goes before me and makes my path straight.  I can't imagine any other way.  

Griff worked Saturday morning (welcome to busy season), and then the girls and I met him for lunch.  After lunch, we visited Lily's gravesite and took the girls to ride the train near the zoo.  Between lunch and the train ride, the temperatures dropped a good 5-10 degrees, and continued dropping pretty rapidly.  Needless to say, we were freeeezing!  It was worth it though, because the girls had fun, and fresh air (even if it's freezing) is always good for the soul.  We ended the day by going to dinner with my parents, and then they came over for a little while.  The girls love having company, so of course, they demanded tutus and music so they could perform for Papa and Meme.  Such a fun family day, and I certainly couldn't think of a better way to remember our sweet angel in heaven.  Happy Heavenly birthday, Lily Grace.  Mommy loves you! y'all have the Waterlogue app?  It takes pictures from your photo album and turns them into watercolor images.  I just downloaded the app today, and I'm kind of obsessed.  And obviously, I will be printing and framing the picture below.  Love.

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